The Sexual Revolution hijacked, commandeered, the definition of love. To them, love refers primarily to one's desire, not one's self sacrifice. Thus, when we hear someone emphasize that the essence of following Jesus has to do with love, we unwittingly may pull their definition in, and think that that version of following Jesus is almost infinitely malleable, and more selfish than not.
A theology or ethic defined by the SR's definition of love leads to accommodating everything to our own desires. The endgame of such a definition of love is to make things seemingly easier and easier for the self, even if it puts others at a disadvantage. The endgame or purpose of Jesus' definition of love is to put the self at a disadvantage for others' benefit.