Real
I’d like to write you a song, something so amazing
Something you’d play for your friends, play it one more time
But I don’t know where my heart is; it’s hard to know what I feel
And you won’t be singing along unless it’s real
I’d like to tell you the truth, clear as mountain sunrise
Something to give you some roots, help you to survive
But I don’t know where your heart is, and trust isn’t something to steal
And you shouldn’t give me your time, unless I’m real
If I wear the mask, and put on the costume,
And hope that you’ll like this performance
The tears and the questions, the fears of rejection,
Go silently, sadly unnoticed
I’d like to lend you an ear, simply to listen
Where do your thoughts lead? What’s the shape of your life?
Give me a hint where your heart is, a secret you need to reveal
Together we’ll look for the healing—just be real.
NSAI Song Evaluation
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NASHVILLE SONGWRITERS ASSOCIATION INTERNATIONAL SONG EVALUATION
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EVALUATOR COMMENTS: Hi Brian! I hope that you will find that NSAI is beneficial to you as a songwriter no matter what genre or level you are at. Also, please know that I am here as an evaluator, to give you my unique perspective and feedback that may possibly help strengthen your craft. You may agree with some it, and you may not, but I hope that you can take some of what I have to say, and turn it into inspiration!
OVERVIEW: I like the idea and where you’re headed on this one, Brian. I’ll share a few more thoughts with you below…
STRUCTURE: V/V/BR/V
HOOK/IDEA: You’ve communicated an honesty and realness with this song – no pun intended! ☺ But, that is clear and communicated well, so great job on that. I was a little confused with this being labeled a contemporary Christian song and with who this song was supposed to be sung to. Is it to God or another person? If it is another person, you may be able to go back in and dig into the idea a bit more in order to set up the overall thought and give a little more back story.
LYRIC: There’s a good foundation to work with on this idea, Brian. I like the conversational feel to the lyrical presentation. Here are a few more specifics for you…
Instead of saying – something so amazing – you might want to say – something you’d love or something more along those lines. Otherwise, it sounds like you’re saying that THIS song is amazing, and that may be a little too much.
What happened between these 2 people? Why is he saying that they need to be real? I think if you can give a bit more back story on this song, you’ll find more strength overall for the idea. Right now, parts are a little vague, and you might find more strength if you can build in more of a story about the people in the song.
MELODY/METER: The melody and meter have a good, almost folky feel. The feel matches the idea well, and has a “real” feel. Good job matching the idea and musical take.
CLOSING COMMENTS: You’ve got a good start to this one! I hope that these suggestions help move this one forward even more from here.
A few questions that I ask myself when writing a song that may also help you are: Who would you pitch this song to? Who would your target audience be for this song? What makes this song stand out amongst others so that an artist would choose to sing this particular song? Why is this idea so important?
Again, thank you for your membership and for sending your song to us for an evaluation! Best of luck in all that you do, and remember…”It all begins with a song.”
EVALUATOR CONCLUSION (YES OR NO RESPONSE) I AM RECOMMENDING THIS SONG TO THE EVALUATOR LUNCHEON: Not at this time
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