The Awaited One
Lyrics:
From Abram and Sarai to Mary and Joseph,
Learning the hope begins at home
Asking the questions keeps us open;
We meet Creator God, no longer unknown
CHORUS
Fathers and Mothers lay down the path,
Answering questions children will ask
Sharing, preparing for the Awaited One
Harlots and holy, scoundrels and saints,
Ancestors’ stories of glory and pain
All true, and prelude to the Awaited One
We and the ancients have so much in common;
The family of Heaven echoes on
We fall into selfish mistakes just as often;
We, too, await Messiah’s morning to dawn
(Chorus)
From the beginning, a promise was planted;
And now the roots grow strong and deep
We rest in the shelter of its branches;
For what He began, He will complete
(Chorus)
Copyright © 2009 Brian West
NSAI Evaluation
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NASHVILLE SONGWRITERS ASSOCIATION INTERNATIONAL SONG EVALUATION
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EVALUATOR COMMENTS: Hi Brian! I hope that you will find that NSAI is beneficial to you as a songwriter no matter what genre or level you are at. Also, please know that I am here as an evaluator, to give you my unique perspective and feedback that may possibly help strengthen your craft. You may agree with some it, and you may not, but I hope that you can take some of what I have to say, and turn it into inspiration!
OVERVIEW: Good work so far on this one, Brian. I’ll share some comments and suggestions with you below on how you could possibly strengthen this one even more from here.
STRUCTURE: V/CH/V/CH/V/CH
HOOK/IDEA: This is a simple idea and you’re on the right track! So far, most of the lyrics and idea presentation are clear. I do have some other specific thoughts for you on how you could strengthen this one overall more, but you’ve got a good understanding and foundation for the idea so far.
LYRIC: Good start! Here are a few more specific thoughts for you lyrically...
You have a lot of good thoughts in here, Brian. I think one thing that could be stronger overall is the flow. Right now, the verses almost seem separate from the chorus thoughts. I think for this song to be even stronger, you may want to go back in and make sure that the verses are connecting and setting up the chorus and hook. You want each line to set up and flow into the next and every line to be building towards the pay off of the hook in the chorus.
Go through and make sure that the lyrics are presented in the most conversational way. You want to be able to read the lyrics down and have them sound like you would actually say them in a conversation. The more conversational, the better. Go through and see how could you present some of the sections in more of a conversational way.
MELODY/METER: The melody and meter have a good feel. To me, I think that this would be a stronger praise song rather than a commercial pitch. The simplicity of the melody and meter really work with the idea, so great work with that. I could hear this one being sung in church by the congregation. One thing that you may look at is the chorus and lifting it a little more melodically. I really like the difference in the feel of the verse and the chorus, but you may try lifting it a little more to make it stand out even more from the verses.
CLOSING COMMENTS: Good work so far! You have some good thoughts in here. I hope that these suggestions are helpful.
A few questions that I ask myself when writing a song that may also help you are: Who would you pitch this song to? Who would your target audience be for this song? What makes this song stand out amongst others so that an artist would choose to sing this particular song? Why is this idea so important?
Again, thank you for your membership and for sending your song to us for an evaluation! Best of luck in all that you do, and remember..."It all begins with a song."
EVALUATOR CONCLUSION (YES OR NO RESPONSE) I AM RECOMMENDING THIS SONG TO THE EVALUATOR LUNCHEON: Not at this time.
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