Harvest of Peace
I have a feeling my fears have found their feet again;
I'm concerned that there's a coward in control
The devil's able to hide behind his lying friends,
Like a puppeteer I'm letting steer my soul
(chorus)
But I will fight these fears away, I will be lifted from my grave
To watch these apparitions vanish with the light of day
So please just wait with me and see who God's creating me to be
The love He's planted soon will bloom
Into a harvest of peace
I know the music--the melody I've heard before:
When the panic plays, I dance this sorry jig
The undertaker is burying my dreams once more:
Like a fool, I grab a spade and help him dig
CHORUS
I get lost in illusions, go for the good, not the best;
So am I frozen by the fear of failure,
Or the fear of our success?
CHORUS
NSAI Evaluation
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NASHVILLE SONGWRITERS ASSOCIATION INTERNATIONAL SONG EVALUATION
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EVALUATORS OPENING: Hi Brian, I’m evaluator #97. Welcome to NSAI song evaluation. Keep in mind that these are only my opinions and are meant to be helpful with your song crafting skills.
FORM/STRUCTURE:good structure
HOOK/IDEA:You may want to create a solid hook idea.
LYRIC:The lyric may need more detail here Brian. You have a lot of abstract imagery such as"lifted from my grave", watch these apparitions, the undertaker is burying my dreams" etc. Abstracts can be useful yet detail is what guides the listener around the storyline. The chorus is where the hook idea would be. In your chorus it's unclear what the hook idea is. The hook idea is one of the main components in song crafting as it dictates what the rest of the song will say. It's a complete thought focused on the hook with plenty of storyline potential. I'm recommending a book below that will discuss idea development in great detail.
MELODY/METER (IF APPLICABLE):The chorus is catchy Brian. The end of the chorus where the hook (into a harvest of peace)is feels crowded. You may want to give that a stronger and smoother melody. Also, the hook may need a rhyme counterpart to strengthen it. The bridge may need a stronger contrasting melody to get it away from the other melodies more.
COMMERCIAL VIABILITY:not at this time
CLOSING COMMENTS:Brian, you have a catchy feel in your chorus. There may be a few melody tweaks. The hook idea may need more clarity. The lyric in general may benefit from a more detailed approach. Keep up the good work Brian and thanks for using NSAI's evaluation service.
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